currently untitled 000
completely off the cuff, we’ll see
Scene: a large snowflake kind of day.
To begin, I do not know what I might want this to say. This is how it is an experiment. Experimental writing, right on the platform, so I can antagonize my writer self with whether or not I will hit publish in one fell swoop.
The tea kettle is beckoning, brb.
My son just stopped by to check the mail. It seems the mail person is not delivering our mail in a timely fashion. Tomorrow I suspect there might be 16 things crammed into the mailbox.
There was an episode of very large snowflakes earlier today, it was quite beautiful yet difficult to capture in a photograph. I still tried though. Sometimes I remind myself that the best thing I can do is simply slow down and marvel at the natural elegance of earth. To simply watch the snow fall. The falling pattern of precipitation is similar to and perhaps as satisfying as listening to and watching waves crash onto a shore, just more quietly.
But now the sky is an even shade of grey with zero variation, so I am glad I slowed down to observe this natural phenomenon.
I also went out to run some errands earlier, shortly after the big snowflakes. They had accumulated as slush piles and were easy to push off the windshield. I drove to the grocery market and spent too much money on soap, but saved myself from purchasing an ornamental dish I did not need. I paid with cash. It was more than I usually spend in one visit but it doesn’t bother me so much this time. I’ve made my peace with paying for convenience.
Now it is the mid evening hour and I’m drinking a hot cocoa that is slightly too weak but permissible. Today marks the seventh day that I met my minimum writing goals every day for a week. I’m beginning to wonder if I know myself better than I think I do. Perhaps another way to say this is that I am capable of outsmarting myself and as long as I am truly my own advocate, this is also permissible. The other side of that coin is something called self-sabotage and that combined with outsmarting yourself can be a real mess.
I am not sure whether I will give this ramble a title. I kind of like ‘currently untitled’ and this is my ground zero for a whole series of untitled works that I can just assign a number to. I do this when I write songs too, when I draft the first rough recordings. Song #84 is one of my favorites. It’s a system that works well for me, so I don’t see any reason not to do it with my prose.
In any case, if it is not already apparent, I am a process geek. I like to talk about the creative process in whatever form or medium it applies to. It’s often how I keep going even through the low points of ‘why do I bother doing anything at all existence is simply a blip on the radar honestly what does it matter’ hollowness. I focus on the process, and if I must (which can be deeply satisfying), I focus on micro-process. Breaking things down into miniscule tasks so that I can still make progress even on the days I feel like a slug.
You know those kind of days, don’t you? If not, good for you. Count yourself lucky. It’s a real chore to work through that kind of existentialist fog.
So here we are, these are the points I have arrived at, before I knew I was veering towards making them. Marvel at the natural earth, create and enjoy your own creative process, and use it to get you through hard times.
I guess this is turning into a personal development piece.
© Dawn Nelson, 2022