LIFE | END GAME

The Mad Scramble

Impossible choices & the meaning of life

The Sunday Dispatch ~ September 8, 2024

The view from our window. Photo by author.

Through the hospital window, I can see the blue sky. It seems to be warm outside, but I don’t know because I haven’t been outside yet today.

Inside, I dress for hospital weather as I sit bedside by my son. He suffered a brain injury that is taking some time to heal, as the recovery is complicated. We are not sure what his needs will be long-term, but our lives will be very different now.

This twist of fate compels me to think about big life changes and choices, many of which seemed impossible a few weeks and months ago. Now, however, I am finally wrestling a decision to the mat, soon to become victorious in whatever the outcome.

I am tired of feeling powerless and cornered. I am ready for change.

I have tried with all my might to make a significant and beneficial contribution to this world. I am not sure that any of it will amount to anything, really; other than it has cost me and my children far too much to do so.

So I quit. My mark on this world will be on my own soul, and I will let that be enough.